


In The City Of London

by ohnolouis



Category: Video Blogging & YouTube RPF
Genre: DAN AND PHIL - Freeform, M/M, TW: Self Harm, and was having Phan feels, but - Freeform, i think it'll be sad fluff, i was bored, idk - Freeform, um
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-23
Updated: 2013-05-23
Packaged: 2017-12-12 16:24:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/813588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohnolouis/pseuds/ohnolouis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan loves Phil and Phil loves Dan and basically sad fluff </p>
<p>(Or in which there's is lots and lots of pining)</p>
            </blockquote>





	In The City Of London

It's just Phil has really bright eyes and Dan isn't good at not getting what he wants but. He still shouldn't have kissed him. Tears are prickling the back of his eyes but he can't cry because Phil is right across the hall and he promised twitter a YouNow and he can't ignore them. The silence has a chokehold around Dan's neck and its constricting around his chest and ringing in his ears and he feels as though he can't breath. His sanity is the line of a thread holding a boat to the post and its only a matter of time before its all snapping down and the water is rising around him. He falls asleep with a bump in his throat and glassy eyes and he's tear tracks on his face. He falls asleep so quickly he doesn't hear Phil's crying and he doesn't notice the blade missing from one razor in the morning. And sometimes Dan feels as though Phil is the wind that you try and catch. It slips between the spaces of each finger and curls around you, sending your heart tittering to fast. He's the dragons breath on cold nights and there's a twinkle in his eyes not unlike the ones of stars. And Dan just. Dan is- he's kinda of mooning for him really but. Phil is wonderful and funny and really fucking gorgeous so it's okay- but it's not because Phil is straight and that thought has Dan pulling the duvet over his head and curling into himself until he feels the wet patches staining his knees. And it's not like anything makes sense anymore, not how the morning light floats from the open window, turning the hollows of his collarbones into secrets and not how Phil isn't there for breakfast and not how Dan suddenly doesn't want to be alive and breathing if he can't fix this because his best friend's looking at him like he's some monster. So. Dan is doing laundry because Dan cleans when he's upset ok. But there's blood on one of Phil's tee-shirts and no. That's not supposed to be there. Dan's stomach is flipping and that might be because he ate but he thinks its because Phil doesn't ever snag himself shaving so. Dan's stomach is in knots and his fingers are looped and he's banging on Phil's door and there's a spark kindling in his chest and catching fire to his ribs and there's flames crawling up his throat and then Phil's opening the door with Dan's jumper on. That normal. But he's tugging at the hems and fidgeting and nope that isn't normal so Dan is grabbing at Phil, the sleeves are shifted up and. There's nothing there. The Phil is hugging Dan and his face is tucked in the crook of his neck and its wet and Phil's body is shaking and Dan is just sliding down the door and pressing apologies into Phil's hair. That's like good. Its good until something catches Phil's thigh and has him jolting into Dan's chest and his breath is catching and he puts an arm around his knees had pulls them tight to him. Dan's voice is tight when he says "get your kit off" and is clipping the button off his trousers and Phil is in his pants and. It's bloody. His whole thigh is just red and hacked up and Dan didn't know he was crying until it soaked into the collar of his shirt, and Phil. Phil was- he was terrified and he was shaking and trying to grab the sweats still wrapped up in Dan's hand and then Dan is leaning over and kissing him and Phil is kissing him back and. Wait Phil is kissing him back but. No he is straight but he's kissing Dan and Dan is almost whining even though he's not and then he wants to kiss all the scars, like each press of his lips would replace the pain that caused him to dig a blade into the delicate skin of his thighs. So he's leaning down and Phil is watching and then he's kissing up the red-stained scars and he's whispering sweet nothing's and Phil is crying but he's smiling but. Dan stops because he- because there's a words carved right into the inside of his legs and Dan wants to scream an punch the wall and cry and. It says fag and then no. Nope. He's staring down at him through his fringe, eyes red-rimmed and still so so blue and yeah Dan is kissing the tears off his face. Nothing is perfect, they've got their problems that they used to try and solve alone, but now they have each other, to help them match up the pieces that are scattered and broken on the floor. And maybe a kiss will make it feel better.


End file.
